Over time, I’ve come to notice that the baddest mo-fos have been through truly terrible things in their lives, have generally had some addiction/disorder/condition, usually all of the above, and have had to overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles, obstacles that the Universe would NOT let them overcome until they 100% committed to the healing journey and stepping into their Divine Power. These are the lightworkers, healers, energy workers, intuitives, psychics, channelers, wounded warriors, witches, pagans, the woke community, enlightened ones, awakened ones, starseeds, empaths, divine feminines, divine masculines, two spirited people, shamans, medicine people, non-binary people, non-conforming people, the lgbtqia+, the spiritual warriors, bodyworkers, and I could just go on and on – no matter how you identify we do share a common theme: Our lives were very painful, we did not want to be here so we tried to escape or cope in some way that was harmful to us, and we had no choice but to step into our authentic selves and life purpose and somehow we begin to love and accept ourselves. Somehow we became whole and complete; somehow we mattered; it was important we were here. And we were transformed. We are the Butterfly, the Rising Phoenix, the breathtaking sunrise after the dark night.
I want to offer some thoughts on why we have had it really hard, with all thoughts carrying the underlying theme that during this Age of Aquarius the most powerful of us are needed now to raise the consciousness of humanity and that we chose to incarnate to be fully ready now. The three thoughts I offer on this are: (1) In order to be fully equipped to raise humanity from unconsciousness to consciousness you had to live an extremely hard life and transform so that you could, (a) be well equipped to help others transform (b) so you could hold space for others in pain authentically (c) so you could reach as many people as possible during your lifetime; (2) You tried to escape so many times because this human life is limited and you are not limited and it has been very uncomfortable for you; (3) timing – divine timing is everything and you couldn’t “peak’ to soon – you had to peak at exactly the right time and maybe in the meantime you were doing meaningful work in other realms/dimensions.
(1)(a)-(c) You hold within you ALL that is needed to achieve your life purpose, to do what you came here to do. You came here to do things. You came here to do Very Hard things and you needed to discover yourself in order to be able to confidently and powerfully do what you need to do here. You needed to be absolutely tried and tested. It has been my experience in my healing journey that when I looked back through things I would rather have not lived through, that I wished were different, I was still able to extract a gift from that scenario – even it the experience where I was a victim of a brutal rape. I bring this particular experience up because it can be hard to see a gift where you did nothing wrong and were a true victim of someone else’s sickness. My gift is that I understand what that experience was like. I know what it means to hold shame and guilt and feel like it was my fault. I know the anger and suppressed rage. I know the feeling in the moment that I didn’t know if I was going to live and even sadder, I didn’t care if I lived. I know sorrow, I know pain at the hands of a stranger. I know what it feels like to walk around town looking at different men and realizing I could interact with my rapist and I wouldn’t know it. I know what it is like to feel powerless, to feel worthless, to be beaten so brutally and then discarded so inhumanly. I know what it feels like to avoid certain areas of town. And today I am okay. Today if I meet someone who has had a similar awful experience and I can meet them truly and authentically in that place. That is very valuable. And you are valuable. I’m sure you have lots of these kinds of painful experiences where you have gotten to a point where you are okay today, and you are now a gift to someone else. You are hope, you are strength. You can help heal the world, because the world is in pain and you are a pro at not only overcoming pain but being the amazing representation of the Divine that you are! And I don’t mean that if you have gone through pain and have healed that you should actually try to work out their pain with them, unless your are licensed or otherwise qualified to do so, as trauma can be triggered through working with others which is called vicarious trauma. What I am saying is a damaged, broken Spirit, knows Its kind. Just you, your existence – you standing in your purpose, in your light, in the amazing life you have created for yourself, despite everything, is more than enough. We communicate who we are with our presence. Your presence today communicates so loudly that you are a survivor, you have transformed the majority of your pain, you don’t shy away from the day-to-day pains, and you stand in the full power of who you are. I also just want to add – you know that saying that the cracks are what let the light shine through? I don’t know what it is but those people who have experienced the most pain just seem to have the most depth, awareness, beauty, and sweetness, I think because they know what pain is and would never want to hurt others like they have been hurt and I just think they are so beautiful. You are beautiful. We are beautiful and we do need to let ourselves shine, now. We Must Shine so others may be free to shine with us.
(2) You are a powerful Divine Being; of course this limited human life is going to suck!! Seriously!!! Like you were used to amazingness, freedom, power, bliss, experiencing all that is any time you wanted to and then when you incarnated here and it was like wtf, I need to go home! Its no wonder that suicide attempts are prevalent prior to the awakening. And doesn’t it seem like the ones that do succeed were completely full of inner beauty and power but they just couldn’t see it? It’s heartbreaking. I also think about those who were in drug/alcohol addiction to escape (intentionally or unintentionally) and did finally escape through a tragic drug overdose or alcohol related death. They were the most amazing beautiful people to me.
It’s been hard and you’ve escaped in some way – drugs, alcohol, food, sex, love chasing, work, power, money, victimhood, other people – anything or anyone can be an escape. To me, that’s why it’s so important as part of the healing journey to STAY. To Be Present to ALL of Life. Amazingly, as I learned to respect myself and set healthy boundaries, I did create a safe life that I did not have to run from. There is absolutely no one in my life that will or can hurt me. That is not to say there isn’t pain from everyday life but again, I know pain and I am now willing to be present with pain.
I would think the amazing, powerful beings who are here to raise the consciousness of humanity would have to be able to sit with the pain of the world first in order to elevate it / transmute it or however your particular purpose relates to that. We have to first see and acknowledge the pain that is present, and as you know, many many people all over the world are in denial as to that. We can and we will hold the world’s pain. We are not afraid to take on the world’s pain as part of the process of evolving it. In other words, we ran a lot, we escaped a lot and now we are committed to kicking ass no matter what. Our past has proven to us that we can go through anything and come out the other side, and when it comes to our life purpose we aren’t afraid to battle whomever and whatever we need to. Bring it. Bring. It. We got this!
(3) Divine Timing and other spiritual reasons for the awakening coming later. I had a download about a month or so ago, where I understood that I was not allowed to peak too soon and one of the purposes of the trials, tribulations and going back into periods of unconsciousness was so that many of us could come into our power around a similar time – a pre-appointed divine time. If you’ve read the work of Dolores Cannon there are things she was not told at certain times and even was not allowed to release much of her work until a certain time because of everything needing to align with a specific Divine Time. We in this realm are not privy to what the exact times are and I understand it depends on multiple factors and even multiple dimensional beings working together on multiple projects, likely in multiple times for a specific perfect time. It is really incomprehensible with our human mind, and perhaps in your meditation you may ask for more information about this. I understand I was not to peak before the time I peaked and yes I am a tenacious stubborn person who began pursing the healing/spiritual journey at age 25 and I did have several breakthroughs and moments of consciousness/awareness but then something or someone would draw me back into unconsciousness. It wasn’t until Late Spring / Early Summer 2019 I realized the in and out of consciousness was done and I was allowed to be fully awake/ fully conscious. I did not realize that fully as I realize it now, but in May or June 2019 I said internally “I trust myself.” I had never had that thought or experience before. I didn’t even know it was something to be had. I realized at that point, I was okay and would not harm myself any longer or put myself in unsafe situations. I consider this my point of when I was allowed to progress extremely fast in my spiritual awakening and healing journey with all of the hardwork of the prior 13 years coming together. I believe Divine Timing is real and things need to be aligned just so. We are in the Age of Aquarius, it is the time of the Great Awakening and we are here, now fully awake or coming awake, to assist in the transformation of human consciousness at the appointed time and not before.
Secondly, if you have read Dolores Cannon you know that her subjects spoke of working with extraterrestials and other dimensional beings either during the time their human self was sleeping or even at other times – when needed – and they would lose periods of time to do so. I had another download in relation to this that some of us during heavy alcohol and/or drug use are in another realm / dimension doing training and learning valuable skills for the appointed time when needed OR that we were needed in that realm/dimension during that specific time period for some dimensional work that we are not consciously aware of but that we agreed to do prior to incarnating on this Earth or that we agreed to be available for, if needed, due to us being highly evolved powerful beings. Either or both scenarios could be true for each of us. To share a personal example of this, from May 2002 until October 2002 I was in a serious drug addiction. I smoked crack-cocaine vigorously 24/7, except for those rare times I would lapse into a crack-coma (extreme period of sleep from not sleeping for many days at a time – the longest I was awake was approximately 17 days). In October 2002 I found myself in jail. It took me a full month to ‘come to’ and understand that I was incarcerated and had lost everything. And I couldn’t believe it. It did not sound like me at all and it took a long time to accept who I had become during that time and the things I had done to feed my addiction. When I looked at my mugshot, my eyes looked soulless. After some time through the years I started to have the sense that during that time my soul was not in my body. I would tell people that it was like I was a zombie. The more I learned about the different dimensions and the work that is possible to do in multiple realms, it resonated with me. It is important to understand yes I did have a physical drug addiction experience here in the 3-D realm at the same time as possibly having an experience in a different realm, with my six-month crazy cocaine addiction, seemingly coming out of nowhere (Divine timing?).
I shared the above because it really stands out as an odd experience for me and took me a while to integrate that into my psyche in the 3D realm. Probably more relatable to most of us is that we have had long periods of serious depression and/or periods of just sleeping a lot. This may have happened most of your life or it is just happening now. I used to sleep like the dead for very long hours at a time. Since my awakening, I do not sleep for long periods of time anymore, however, I do wake up some mornings just feeling very heavy energetically, disoriented, and I just know that I was somewhere else, involved in something pretty heavy during my sleep. When I wake up from that it is really hard to get going. It really does feel like parts of myself are still in other realms/dimensions and I have to take a minute to meditate and call back all parts of myself, soul fragments, energies, and calling my power back to me from all realms/dimensions in all time and space and non-time and non-space, to this present reality I find myself in in this Earth so that I may be fully present in my full power to achieve my life purpose for my highest and best good, today. So yes, I think a lot of us do work in other realms. Please let me know your experiences with that!!
Final Words. I appreciate you. I honor you. I love you. I hold you sacred, perfect, whole, complete and Divine. Please comment with your experience with pain and your awakening. I would love to know if any of what I have offered resonates with you.
If you would like support please contact me at renlewislove@gmail.com.
SWL 